I have a deep desire to be a better man and all that a man is. To be a better man is to be a better husband, a better lover, a better father, a better brother, and a better elder in my community. In that desire there is the admission that I am wounded. We all are, aren’t we?. I need to heal those wounds and allow them to mature. These are parts of me that I don’t even know exist. I gain the awareness of these parts in how I show up in this moment. When I behave in a way that doesn’t serve my growth. When I am reactive with an outsized emotional response. A wound has been poked and I’m triggered. Or, more often, I sense a threat and my armour tightens. I’m shutting down and hiding from that threat. What I’m protecting is the wound. That was how I lived for the first 47 years.

The healing comes in the awareness of this exposed wound. Nothing more. You don’t have to do anything. It’s just in the awareness and the admission that I need to heal to be a better man. Now that I’m aware of my wounds I can witness them as they are triggered again and again. Each time I gain a greater awareness of who I am. As the energy of the wound slowly ripples through my awareness I grow.

This triggering of wounds does not happen in isolation. In fact, it cannot happen in isolation. We must be with the others, so that the others can show us our pain.

In the admission that I need to heal and mature is the uncomfortable truth that I am NOT enough. I have come to learn that this trend of ‘radical acceptance’ is just more spiritual bypassing nonsense. ‘I am perfect and I love me just as I am’ is horribly toxic an gives the excuse that you don’t need to work on your Self.

I have two truths within me. I accept me for who I am. And I accept that I have work to to. I accept that I have wounds that get triggered and I love that I have the tools and the love to heal myself.